I didn’t know how people close to me would react. Making friends at school was already challenging for me.
I was the kid getting pushed into lockers, made fun of, and someone once threw me in a trashcan, ass first. Would I be tormented more than I already was? I came from a loving family but would my parents still accept me? Was it time to kiss my dream of having a wife and kids goodbye? To say I didn’t entirely fit in is an understatement. I didn’t know what to think or how to proceed. Women always turned me on, and up until now, I’d only ever wanted a girlfriend. I didn’t want to be turned on by images of naked men. Related Podcast Episode: Exploring Sexual Intimacy But I never deleted those images Remember, this is 16-year-old me talking. I started spending more time in chat rooms talking to guys. My collection grew until I had a pretty decent folder and was routinely masturbating to these images. It wasn’t just gay porn that I looked at, but it was in heavy rotation.
